What’s wrong with the Jehovah’s Witnesses? October 5, 2006Posted by Hegemony in Uncategorized.
This is a departure from my usual science writing but I couldn’t help myself. I got a handwritten note from someone I had never met. It had my name (as it appeared on my mailbox) and address. In addition to the note (God, blah blah blah) there was a pamphlet. And oh goodness, you’ve never seen such a thing. Inside there was a ton of biblical verses but the cover was great, here it is:
How’s that for weird? Such a strong claim, “all suffering soon to end”. So we can assume that this image is the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ idea of a world without suffering.
So in their ideal world the following are true: there will be pumpkins… lots of pumpkins. Because, you know, pumpkins are useful for so many things… like pumpkin pie… and other things I’m sure. Also there will be apples (for when you’re sick of munching on pumpkins). After a day of harvesting pumpkins and apples will be placed in a garden of ambiguous looking flowers.
In the ideal Jehovah’s Witness paradise the moose will have lost its desire to protect its territory. In fact, here they will graze quietly near humans that have apparently just
harvested some pumpkins and apples. And it seems that black people do the harvesting. I’m not saying that Jehovah’s Witnesses are in favor of slavery… I mean there’s no suffering there. But maybe the artist should have thought that through better.
Oh, and log cabins, you bet there’ll be log cabins. Who needs modern building technology anyway? But don’t fear, we can still use horses for transport. So I guess everyone is happy and free… except for horses.